Have you ever felt like you were invisible when at church or church events? I was at a woman’s conference not too long ago and felt completely invisible.  There was a woman who literally stepped in front of me and started talking to the person I was in mid conversation with. She did not even acknowledge I was there.  This happened a few times and one woman nearly sat on me. This is normal for me at church events, however, lately I am noticing how often it happens to me and other singles. A married woman asked me “how could you live without being married, you must be miserable.”

I am a well-educated successful woman who is not married, that is not the worst thing in the world. While I would love to be married to the right person, I am not desperately seeking a husband. Friends have offered to introduce me to their nephew who needed a “good woman” when he gets out of jail or a brother who needs some ambition because all he did was play video games all day.  I do not consider either of those are good husband material.  Lately, I have had several people tell me they were sorry I was not married because it had to be so difficult. 

Being single today is hard, the church and the world is designed for those who are married. Most people who attend the same church regularly are married, so finding a community of singles within the church can be difficult. Most pastors and preachers provide instruction and guidance for the married people in the room without any recognition of those who are not married.  I have heard more messages on how to have a great relationship with your husband than most married people. 

Lately, I have been challenged to not just complain about the lack of inclusion for singles in the church and do something about it.